Sunday, 31 October 2010

What The Hell Is That Thing? And Why Have You Brought In The House?

Noticed the cat today, daddy was once again taking away a nice warm nappy that I'd been working on secretly for hours. I was trying to tell him at the top of my voice to leave my nappy exactly where it was, when suddenly this black furry thing with pointed ears peered over the top of the chair I was being changed on.

It stared at me wide-eyed for a good few seconds and then looked up at daddy before saying, 'what the hell is that thing and why have you brought it in the house?'

Strangely daddy doesn't seem to be able to understand a word the cat's saying, I'm going to have to watch that one though, it seems to think that mummy and daddy should be looking after him instead of me! Outrageous!

Leave My Nappy Alone!

Why oh why do these people who call themselves my parents, who claim to love me, keep changing my nappy? Every time I do a nice warm poo or pee in my nappy one of them takes it off and replaces it with an empty one.

What the hell is that all about!? I keep trying to tell them, but they don't seem to understand me, the only way to get through to them I reckon, is to keep filling them as fast as they can change them.

Maybe that's my job, is to fill nappies; anyway this is a pic of me filling up a nice fresh one.

Day One Life On Earth

Wow! If you ever want to freak yourself out try being born for a trip!

Imagine trying to pass your head through a polo neck jumper 12 sizes to small for you, and you have some inkling as to what it's like.

Anyway I came out was manhandled by some bloke in a uniform and put on a nice warm bare chest, I opened my eyes and saw my mummy and daddy for the first time, it was a bit cold so I sneezed; which in itself is a pretty freaky experience, for some reason this made mummy and daddy cry.

Pooed on the nurse and fell into a fitful sleep.